It's been
a while since we had a good ol' revolution. I mean, 1789? Really? Come on
that's far too long. It's time to get with the program, my friends! Here are
the top 5 reasons to support a 21st Century American Revolution:
Get Back Our Dignity! We are Americans for Christ's sake! We
waged a full-on war against overpaying taxes on our tea, yet we allowed our
"Democratic" government to pass the Patriot Act without so
much as a good old-fashioned sit-in? When did we become such wusses?
We Have the Resources! Thanks to the NRA, the drug runners and
other, assorted criminal elements, automatic weapons complete with armor
piercing ammunition are abundant.
We
also have large supplies of war fighting equipment, everything from Flak
Jackets to Night Vision Goggles readily available for every revolutionary
soldier.
We Have a Mandate! The Second Amendment
of the U.S. Constitution provides for private citizens to keep and bear arms in
order to form militias to stop government from running rampant. Rampant defines the Judicial, Legislative and
Executive branches of our current government to a “T”.
The French Revolution provided a
‘Do-It-Yourself’ template. Equality for
all! We can start by dragging local, state and federal government authorities
into our large Arena’s. Once the TV commercials have run, all of the disposed officials
will be publicly executed with automatic weapons fire...no, let's go whole hog and brush off the guillotines!
Become
a Revolutionary - Become Infamous! After you are
executed - martyred, if you prefer - by the "fill-in-the adjective"
reigning government, you'll go down in the history books as the "Last
Anarchist". You'll be the envy of all your wannabe revolutionist neighbors
and despised by modern-day "Tories" as a treasonous dissident and
felon.
Unless of course, you win the rebellion, in which case, the new Revolutionary regime's puppet leader will discredit your sacrifices, execute you under questionable circumstances, and revise the history books to exclude you. You will, however, be immortalized on expensive t-shirts made by Chinese penny-wage workers and worn by ironic counter-culture hipsters a la Che Guevera.
Unless of course, you win the rebellion, in which case, the new Revolutionary regime's puppet leader will discredit your sacrifices, execute you under questionable circumstances, and revise the history books to exclude you. You will, however, be immortalized on expensive t-shirts made by Chinese penny-wage workers and worn by ironic counter-culture hipsters a la Che Guevera.
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