Thursday, October 30, 2014

WELCOME TO THE AUTHOR'S CAVE - HALLOWEEN BLOG TRAIN





 1. Include a picture or video of yourself in a Halloween costume! I don’t have any pictures of me in Halloween costume. I did…kinda-sorta…wear a costume when performing with my band. This was taken backstage, at an open air festival, as I was trying to get my in-ear monitor cable under the back of my shirt. Yes, it’s been a few years… ;o)


2. What is your favorite scary movie? That would have to be “The Shining.” Arguably the best movie ever made from one of Stephen King’s novels. “Carrie” was great, too; but not especially scary.

3. What scene from a book or movie scared you more than any other? As much as I love horror movies and books, there’s not much that really and truly “scare” me. However, there are several that have shocked me or that I found extremely disturbing. Again, The Shining hits the mark!

4. If all of Stephen King's bad guys were after each other, who would win and why? Hands down...Randall Flagg. This guy is truly a nasty villain. He appeared in seven of Stephen King’s novels, including several of the Dark Tower series books as Walter o’Dim. He is also King’s self-described "best villain."

5. Give a Treat! I loved these as a kid! Caramel Popcorn Balls.

  
 6. Provide an elevator pitch for one of your book!
  The Imagine Trilogy 
#1 No Heaven - #2 No Hell - #3 No Religion
 
Thirty years ago, scientists found extra letters in the human genome of a skeleton estimated to be four thousand years old. The letters were considered to be "junk."

Recently, a man calling himself Eloah interrupted Easter Mass at Germany's famous K├Âlner Dom by announcing that he had visited our world before and that during his previous visit, he had called himself Yeshua ben Josef (aka Jesus). He displayed paranormal abilities that couldn't be explained or ignored until an FBI forensics team discovered that the DNA "junk" discovered thirty years earlier and Eloah's matched. These additional letters could be the basis for his otherworldly intelligence, psychic abilities and extended lifespan.

Eloah offers the world a peaceful and abundant life for all, free from fear and oppression that has nothing to do with an omniscient god, and everything to do with humanity's innate moral and ethical principles. While a religiously incited nuclear war is on the horizon, global political, religious and corporate leaders eager to maintain the status-quo want Eloah stopped at all costs; and they are not alone!




7. Blog Train Halloween Story! Members of the train will follow in the order of their cars to complete the following Halloween story. Follow the train to see how the story goes and to get to know some new authors!

Buried Alive?

WHOA! If you are just starting the story train, click here to go to Train Car #1 for the beginning. http://gingergelsheimer.blogspot.com/2014/10/authors-cave-halloween-blog-train.html



"Good morning, Miss Wade. I'm Doctor Moore. I'm a psychologist and..."

It's been over a week since I woke up in this new body, apparently three hundred years into the future and this lovely, young woman wasn't making any more sense to me than all the others who have spoken about this so-called Past Life Transplant. "I'm sorry, what did you say you were?"

"Oh, please excuse me; I imagine you've never heard of psychology? Well, what I want to do is determine your mental health and to help you work through any issues that may arise as you adjust to your new body and circumstances that could affect your psychic well-being."

"I'm quite sure, Doctor Moore that I haven't a smidgen of an idea what you are talking about."

"Well...let's just say..."

"Let's just say it's bloody crowded in here!" Another voice burst across my consciousness and past my lips. It was a man's voice with a strange accent. I was caught completely unawares and sat as speechless as the good Doctor Moore appeared shocked and alarmed.

Several seconds had passed before the doctor leaned forward, gazed intently into my eyes and asked in a surprised and trembling voice, "Who...who are you?"

I sensed the man's pride and personal affront as, once again, his words passed through my mouth. "I am Lord Hampshire, and I demand to know what sort of black magic this is that put me into a woman's body?"

Doctor Moore pushed a red button on a box atop her desk and within a minute, two more doctors, neither of whom I recognized, burst into the office. "We have a problem," said Doctor Moore. "It seems more than one spirit has been drawn into this body's vortex."

Internally, I felt someone grab me by the back of the head. My hair was pulled sharply back and a new essence moved in front of me. "Ahem...if I may be so bold; make it three spirits inside this body. As the good Lord Hampshire has already stated, it is bloody crowded. What, if anything, do you intend to do about this abominable situation?"

I was and am still a lady; I couldn't, however, stop myself. From behind this third presence, I kicked him soundly between the spot where I imagined his legs to be and pushed him to the side. "Excuse me, gentlemen. Surely, it is obvious to the both of you that I was here first; that this is a woman's body! Kindly remove yourselves, forthwith!"

"Not so damned fast, Miss Wade! You an' me got us some scores to settle up...bitch!"


Click here to continue on to Celia M. Kennedy's train car and the next part of the story!

Monday, October 27, 2014

SATAN CRIES, "FOUL!"




 
        PETITIONS UNIVERSAL COURT

In an unprecedented legal move today, Satan filed grievances against God for infringement of rules governing the tactical use of minions. In his suit, Satan contends that God has changed tactics and use of his own “God-fearing adherents” to commit atrocities while reaping the profits, without any credit or soul transfer to Satan. “He’s been stealing souls under false pretenses, basically,” said Satan Chief of Staff, Adolph Hitler. “Satan is fed up and demands compensation from the highest court.”

Efforts by Satan and his strongest followers to change the tide of corruption and murder by people claiming allegiance to God have apparently failed. “He’s using our tactics! How do you combat evil with evil?” Hitler moans.

Satan’s Secretary of State, Jim Jones, former leader of the Peoples Temple Agricultural Project. “Look, I used a similar tactic when I was on Earth. I lured people to me in the name of that fucker, God and then helped them kill themselves, but that’s not the same thing.”
 
Why now, though? Throughout the history of mankind, man’s inhumanity to man was often generated by religion or dictatorial leaders claiming divine guidance.

“Not the same scale,” says Hitler. “Sure, I had the Catholic Pope’s blessing when I murdered those fucking Jews, and yeah, I claimed God as my benefactor. But, that’s all pennies compared to the megabucks atrocities occurring now.”

When asked what was happening now that had changed the status quo and upset Satan enough to take legal action, Hitler was straight to the point. “Look, you’ve got men and women in the US Congress that claim to be devout followers of God passing laws based upon His best-selling novel…a work of pure fiction, for Satan’s sake! Religious leaders, while claiming to do otherwise, are fomenting their followers against each other.

“The global pharmaceutical industry is killing people by the millions with their lies and cover-ups. Can you believe that they are injecting new diseases in third world countries in order to reap the profits selling their “cures” to those who can afford it?

“There are corporate CEO’s and bankers out there wreaking havoc with peoples’ lives, driving them into debt, poverty, and finally, crime. The military industrial complex is instigating random wars over Earth’s resources, but the real reason is simply to sell more weapons; the oil industry doesn’t care, they’re all under one hat anyway. And these are not OUR people! Most of the leaders in all of these categories claim to be Christian, Muslim, or Jewish...God's People!"
 
Prior to storming off in disgust, Hitler added, “Bottom line is this. God is cheating and illegally increasing his profits in souls. Just because HE has become a source of evil in the world, we can’t follow his underhanded tactics and switch to being good, now can we? No, legal action is our only remaining recourse.”


As of this report, neither God nor anyone from his staff was available for comment.

Friday, October 10, 2014

5 Great Reason's to Support Anarchy!





It's been a while since we had a good ol' revolution. I mean, 1789? Really? Come on that's far too long. It's time to get with the program, my friends! Here are the top 5 reasons to support a 21st Century American Revolution:    
            
 Get Back Our Dignity!  We are Americans for Christ's sake! We waged a full-on war against overpaying taxes on our tea, yet we allowed our "Democratic" government to pass the Patriot Act without so much as a good old-fashioned sit-in? When did we become such wusses?

We Have the Resources!  Thanks to the NRA, the drug runners and other, assorted criminal elements, automatic weapons complete with armor piercing ammunition are abundant. 

We also have large supplies of war fighting equipment, everything from Flak Jackets to Night Vision Goggles readily available for every revolutionary soldier.


We Have a Mandate! The Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution provides for private citizens to keep and bear arms in order to form militias to stop government from running rampant.  Rampant defines the Judicial, Legislative and Executive branches of our current government to a “T”.

The French Revolution provided a ‘Do-It-Yourself’ template.  Equality for all! We can start by dragging local, state and federal government authorities into our large Arena’s. Once the TV commercials have run, all of the disposed officials will be publicly executed with automatic weapons fire...no, let's go whole hog and brush off the guillotines!
Become a Revolutionary - Become Infamous!  After you are executed - martyred, if you prefer - by the "fill-in-the adjective" reigning government, you'll go down in the history books as the "Last Anarchist". You'll be the envy of all your wannabe revolutionist neighbors and despised by modern-day "Tories" as a treasonous dissident and felon.
Unless of course, you win the rebellion, in which case, the new Revolutionary regime's puppet leader will discredit your sacrifices, execute you under questionable circumstances, and revise the history books to exclude you. You will, however, be immortalized on expensive t-shirts made by Chinese penny-wage workers and worn by ironic counter-culture hipsters a la Che Guevera.